I cannot believe that is almost 2006. I think I have grown up more this year than any other year. My mentality level and the way I take things is finally starting to be that of a 20 year instead of a childish middle schooler.Gen and I had a long talk about this the other day,I think that everyone has one year when they just know that things have changed and that they have become different people but for the better.Seriously, it feels damn good to look and known that you have matured. I am in the middle of my second year of college and it is defintely not have I would have imagined it. I still have no idea what the hell I am gonna do. I want to get a Music Business Degree but I suck at music theory and am even worse at math. *sigh*. what's a girl to do? I still would love to sing, but I haven't had training in almost a year. I could go back to a private voice studio, but it gets too expensive and sometimes I wonder how much it really helps. I believe that everyone has a God given talent that they are supposed to embrace and I always thought that music in some sort of shape or form was mine. But how can I go after something when I continue to get obstacles pushed in my path on the way there, maybe it is a test to how bad I want it. I just feel like if I don't do something with music then what the hell am I gonna do with my life. I am great at talking and being social and if I could get paid for it then I would be rolling in the dough... maybe I should get a degree in mass communications or public relations. Signs would great right about now. haha. As for my classes this semester, let's just say I cannot wait for them to be over. I am in doubt as to if I will pass my geology class, and the fact that I had to drop my math class halfway thru did not make me happy.I don't want to take classes next semester but I better if not I will never graduate. Maybe I will get to take some stuff that I am actually interested in and then my GPA will be better. yayyy!
I am still head over heels for a certain band member,I would love to think that he feels the same way, especially a certain incident that happened between us a while back. Too bad I suck when it comes to boys and might have ruined it forever or I might get lucky and he won't remember the incident or take it too seriously.I get to see him sorta soon and I am so excited and nervous all at the same time. I just need to talk to him and see what he has to say. Of course, we could make out too, that would be nice. ;)
Then there is always Cory, the damn ex, for me he's the one that will always be a part of him that will never get over him. But I feel like I might be ready for everything with him and I to be over and I think I would be ok with it. We were supposed to hang out sometime this weekend while he is in town but he "lost my number" and did not call when we were supposed to hang out and then invites me over at 1 in the morning, when I was tired as hell,and then when I say "maybe another time" he precedes to tell me that he "was busy for the next couple days". whatever. I am so sick of being second best for him. if he can't make time for me, then it's bullshit and I don't want to deal with it.
Besides, in the end I just have my heart set on my band guy. <3.
Well I will write more later. I just wanted to get some of that out for now.